Chapter 9 - Dinner

“As dinners go,” Ranma said, looking to Akane, “this one might be one of the most awkward ones we will ever host.”

Akane nodded slowly as she looked stunned down the corridor lined with about thirty marines. From the other end of the corridor, Genma came slowly walking up with much the same look Akane had.

“Don't you think you're overdoing things?” he mumbled to Ranma once he met up with him outside of the entrance to Holodeck One.

Ranma shot his father a look before sighing. “Sixteen of my marines were injured trying to apprehend him. Lieutenant Yuki had...” Ranma looked towards the marines before pulling Genma to an area more private. “Lieutenant Yuki had her underwear stolen.”

“That's what he does,” Genma sighed.

“OFF OF HER.” Ranma barked.

Genma simply stared off, towards no direction in particular.

“And the lounge burned down. No idea how that happened,” Ranma grumbled.

Genma rubbed his forehead, the headaches starting to come back.

“Look,” Ranma said, trying to keep his cool. “I'm doing this for you, okay? I don't care if the President of the Federation orders me to allow him on my ship, it's never happening again. However, if you still need to impress him, for whatever reason, then...” Ranma put his hand on Genma's shoulder, before finishing, “...then we'll tolerate him.”

Ranma looked back to the marines. “With conditions.”

Genma nodded. “Despite all that he's become, I owe him quite a lot.” Genma looked around a bit. “You do too, whether you realize it or not.”

Ranma eyed Genma before deciding that instead of slapping the old man, he would simply escort him into the holodeck.

The pair walked in, where again, Genma face palmed as the room was dotted with about two dozen heavily armed security officers. Most of the bridge crew was seated around a large, 'U' shaped table, one of the chairs having a 'booster' seat in it, presumably for Admiral Happosai.

Genma felt quite over-dressed as he had worn his dress uniform, while the rest of the Sisko's crew was wearing their duty uniforms. This displeased the elder Saotome, as he was certain he'd instructed Ranma that this was to be a formal dinner.

At least, he noticed, that Gosnell was dressed in his tuxedo as he was serving drinks. Usagi was nowhere to be seen, but she was doing the cooking and was likely finishing up preparations.

“Looks like I overdressed,” Genma mumbled as Ranma led him to a seat that would be between Happosai and Jitsia.

Ranma nodded. “Looks that way.”

Genma grumbled as he sat down. His grumbling turned to happy smiles, however as he started to chat with Jitsia, who, semi-reluctantly, broke off her conversation with Makoto and began to chat with Genma.


Happosai materialized in the U.S.S. Sisko's transporter room one to find himself staring down the barrels of nineteen hybrid phase rifles.

Needless to say, he screamed.

Parker, the only one not pointing a weapon at him, tackled him before he could do anything and quickly injected him with a hypospray.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!?” Happosai cried.

“Relax, Admiral,” Rei said from behind her rifle. “We're just here to escort you to dinner.”


“Dammit you're loud,” Parker said, climbing off of him. “Sir.”

Happosai climbed to his feet and pushed his way past the group, only to find Ryouga and another fifteen marines waiting for him just outside of the transporter room door.

“It's nothing bad,” Rei explained as the NSO teams followed the marines who walked in front of Happosai. “It's just a bio-molecular nano transmitter. In case you decide to go roaming again, we can simply beam you back to us.”

“Or into space,” Kio mumbled.

Happosai turned and looked to Kio, whom he noticed was not using proper trigger discipline, and had her weapon pointed at him, with her finger inside the trigger guard.

He nodded and turned to resume following the marines. “I'm too hungry to play right now anyway.”

“Good,” Rei smiled. “Then this will be a pleasant evening.”

Happosai smirked. “Yes,” he said. “Pleasant.”

After walking for a bit, the group turned down a corridor to see the garrison of marines outside of the holodeck. Happosai grinned a bit smugly, the concept that Ranma thought it took THIS many security people to keep him in line giving him a grand sense of superiority.

Happosai's smugness diminished a bit when he was led into the holodeck to find even more security officers. He was also a bit disappointed to see that with the sole exception of Genma, not even one of the Sisko crew had dressed up for him - something he'd told Genma he'd expected of them.

Happosai made sure Genma was aware of his disappointment in him with a stern look before Kio shoved him slightly with her boot in the direction of his chair. Happosai turned and snarled at her, however Kio, still very, very angry at the Admiral, snarled back, sending him backpedaling slightly.

Genma quickly ran over to ensure that the pair didn't get into an altercation that ended up with Happosai either covered in phaser burns, or worse, dead, as he had a weird feeling that Kio's rifle was not set on stun, and plopped him into his seat.

Happosai at first was a little put off by the fact that he seemed to be seated in a 'baby' seat but got over it quickly as it turned out to be quite comfortable.

“Sake?” Gosnell asked, walking up to Happosai.

Happosai nodded, but before Gosnell could walk off, Happosai grabbed his arm. “And a glass of water,” he grinned.

Gosnell cleared his throat nervously. “I'm sorry,” he frowned. “I'm not allowed to provide you with water.”

Happosai glared at Gosnell, causing him to cower, before sighing. “It's not your fault, I suppose,” he acknowledged. “Bring me two sakes, then.”

Gosnell nodded and then walked off. Happosai looked to his right, where Genma was seated. He then looked to his left, where Ranma was seated. Which one to punish first for this humiliation?

Obviously, the fact that nearly the entire ship's complement of security being down here to keep him under control was the doing of Ranma. However, allowing it to happen was a crime as well, which was something Genma would have to be punished for.

Gosnell walked back to Happosai and smiled.

“Here you go, Admiral.”

Happosai nodded thanks before looking down to his cups.

“WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!” he bellowed, causing everyone to turn and look at him.

“What have I told you about using your indoor voice?” Ranma asked, rubbing his ears.

Happosai picked up the cup that Gosnell brought him. It was a small cup, plastic, that had a lid on it with a small plastic straw that Happosai could use to drink out of. The lid seemed to be firmly attached to the cup as Happosai was unable to get it off, finally out of pure frustration, he threw the whole cup at Ranma.

Ranma ducked and easily dodged the flying cup and looked to Happosai, confused, as the cup of sake hit the floor and bounced across the deck, not spilling an ounce.

“What's wrong?” Ranma asked.

“I am not a child!” Happosai barked. “Why are you giving me a sippy cup?”

Ranma rolled his eyes. “Why do you think?”

Happosai glared at Ranma before reaching towards Genma's beer. Ranma pushed a button next to him, which made a chirp. Happosai then ended up hitting a force field before he could reach Genma.

“RANMA!!!!!” Happosai bellowed.

“You have a choice to make right now, Admiral,” Ranma said, standing and turning to Happosai and looking down at him in his 'serious business' face. The rest of the crew at the table looked on as the pair stared each other down.

“You can not only act like a Starfleet Officer, but a human being for a single hour while we have dinner,” Ranma poked at the force-field, “and I will treat you like one, or you can continue to be... you... and I will send you back to your ship right now and we can part ways.”

Ranma sat back down and took a drink of the Romulan mixed drink he was enjoying. “Your choice,” he quietly stated, not looking to Happosai.

The room's eyes all shifted to Happosai as he looked to Ranma.

Finally, the old pervert began to laugh. “I'm pleased to see you are willing to do what your father and - her father - never would do,” he said, glancing towards Akane. “Stand up to me.”

Genma glowered at Happosai as the lecher laughed more. “Alright, you have my word as both a Starfleet Officer and as the founder of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts that I will behave,” Happosai grinned. “Till after dinner,” he amended.

Ranma could live with that. He lowered the force field and nodded to Gosnell, letting him know that he could serve Happosai in normal glasses. “I warn you though,” Ranma said, looking to Happosai as Gosnell delivered a glass of sake to him, “if you splash me, Pop, Ryouga, or especially Shampoo, you're getting beamed out of here.”

Happosai nodded at Ranma as he waved him off. “Yeah, yeah. Where's the new Commander?”

Genma, who now felt quite slighted by his master, motioned towards Jitsia who was seated next to him.

“Admiral Happosai, this is Commander Jitsia Gras.”

Happosai's eyes went wide. “YOU!” he squealed.

Jitsia smirked. “It's good to finally meet you, Admiral.” She chuckled a bit. “Conscious.”

Happosai laughed boisterously. “It was a fine trap you and my disciple laid out for me!”

“Don't call me that,” Ranma mumbled.

Happosai ignored him. “I just wish I would have gotten a chance to see what was under that robe.” Jitsia grinned a bit uncomfortably as Happosai leaned forward a bit. “Is it true the spots go all the way down your legs?”

“Did you know,” Genma said, clearing his throat, “that Commander Gras is a ninth Dan black belt in Krav Maga?”

“What is that?” Happosai asked. “Klingon?”

“No,” Jitsia shook her head. “It's a twentieth-century Earth martial art refined by the Israeli Defense Forces which focuses on ending a fight as quickly as possible.”

Happosai scoffed. “So, you're really good at running away?”

Jitsia laughed. “Yes, I am. But Krav Maga is more about... threat neutralization,” she explained. “Inflicting massive damage to the enemy's body, quickly.”

“Well,” Happosai yawned, “since the chief engineer isn't here with dinner yet, how about a demonstration?”

“That's really not a good idea,” Jitsia said, cautiously. “Without the proper safety gear, someone could get hurt.”

“Come on!” Happosai pleaded. “Use Ryouga! He's pretty stout! That idiot used to slam himself into rocks all the time and survived!”

Ryouga, who was standing near the doorway, frowned at Happosai, but then looked to Jitsia. “I am pretty tough, Commander. I don't mind sparring with you if you want.”

Jitsia reluctantly sighed and nodded. She quickly unzipped her uniform jacket and took it off, setting it on her chair as Ryouga handed his phaser rifle to Makoto for safekeeping. Jitsia, now simply clad in her red turtleneck, shook her head.

“Keep the rifle, Captain Hibiki.”

Ryouga blinked. “Okay,” he said, taking the rifle back.

Happosai clapped happily as Genma grimaced. He looked past Happosai to Ranma and Akane.

“You might want to get a couple of medics started this way.”

Ranma bit his lip as Akane tapped her communicator.

“Shoot me,” Jitsia instructed Ryouga.

Ryouga smiled. “Pew!” he chuckled, pointed the rifle at her. She shook her head and groaned.

“No. Shoot me.”

“For real?” Ryouga asked.

Jitsia nodded.

Ryouga looked to Ranma. Ranma just shrugged. The NSO team looked on, a little curious. Rei, who had a very interesting conversation with Jitsia when the two went for drinks in the lounge, and a better understanding of her, had determined that the young girl was not someone who was a 'showboater', but she was certainly confident of her abilities.

She would not tell Ryouga to 'shoot her' unless this exercise would end very badly for the marine captain.

Ryouga sighed and brought his rifle to bear. He began to move his index finger over the trigger. Time seemingly stopped for him though when a red, black, and blonde blur came whipping up to him. The pig-man nearly screamed as his hand was bent in a direction that it had never turned before in his life. His eyes followed his rifle as it went flying across the holodeck; Corporal Kagurazaka running to catch it.

Ryouga’s troubles didn't end with his disarming. His eyes bulged as he saw Jitsia's fist come full speed towards his windpipe as well as her right knee barreling towards his groin.

Ryouga let out an audible whimper as he expected to be pummeled. Instead, he felt himself being released by Jitsia. Both her fist and knee having stopped a couple of centimeters from their targets.

“Are you okay?” she asked him.

Ryouga nodded as he shook his hand. “I think so.” He looked at her and smiled. “That was pretty impressive.”

“It was designed so even someone who might be weaker, physically, would be able to defeat an opponent, even if they were armed,” Jitsia explained, passively acknowledging the fact that she was both smaller than and nowhere near as strong as Ryouga was. She moved back to her chair and put her jacket on while the medics Akane summoned looked over Ryouga’s hand.

Minako, who didn't seem to care for the manhandling Jitsia gave Ryouga grumbled. “Those strikes would have killed him.”

Jitsia nodded. “Yup.”

Minako just looked to Jitsia as Ryouga walked over to Ian and retrieved his rifle, having been cleared for duty. Jitsia noticed Minako's look and explained more.

“It's not a sport, Commander. It's for hand-to-hand combat against someone who is trying to kill you.” Jitsia took a drink of her cherry soda and smiled. “In some instances, non-lethal tactics end up being lethal anyway because you get killed.”

Minako seemed to accept Jitsia's explanation, especially after Ryouga walked over to her, reassuring her that he was okay and that he was cool with things. Happosai also seemed to be impressed and applauded her.

“You should teach that,” he said to her.

Jitsia shrugged. “I taught several Cardassians the basics,” she said.

“What do you wear when you teach? A gi?” Happosai asked.

Both Ranma and Genma face palmed as Jitsia looked worriedly at Happosai. “Uh, normally you want to wear just loose-fitting clothes.”

“Could you do it in just a bra and panties?” Happosai asked.

Ranma slammed his comm badge, nearly smashing it. “SAOTOME TO TSUKINO.”

“Go!” Usagi called out.

“Dinner ready yet?”

“Yeah! But there is a security blockade. I can't get around it.”

Ranma allowed his face to slam into the table as Happosai fell out of his chair laughing.

“I'll go get her, Captain,” Rei said.

“I'll come with you,” Jitsia said, running off before Happosai or Genma had a chance to object.

Ranma slowly raised his head up and looked at Happosai. “I thought you said that you would behave?”

“What?” Happosai asked, not looking to Ranma, and instead waving towards Gosnell, indicating that it was time for more sake. “I was just discussing with her what kind of attire would be proper while training in this 'hack foie gras'.”

Ranma could only grit his teeth in frustration as Gosnell filled up Happosai's glass.


Rei and Jitsia walked down the corridor towards where they assumed Usagi was hiding from the 'security blockade'.

“Does that guy visit often?” Jitsia turned to Rei and asked.

Rei shook her head. “It's only the second time I have seen him.” Rei sighed a bit. “He was, apparently, behind our...” she stopped, grabbing Jitsia and stopping her as well, “...placement on the Sisko.”

“Why are you whispering?” Jitsia asked, noticing Rei's tone had dropped.

Rei looked around a bit more. “This ship has changed a bit since we first deployed. I was originally assigned here as the councilor.”

Jitsia looked at Rei oddly. “Special operations fieldwork is a strange place for a psychologist.”

“I'm not a psychologist,” Rei pointed out. “That's kind of my point. Usagi isn't an engineer, not even close. Ryouga used to be the flight officer, but he wasn't trained for it, among other issues he had...”

Rei cleared her throat. “I don't like to speak ill of the dead, but while he was a good warrior, our tactical officer was blind as a bat and infatuated with the XO.”

Jitsia had a very confused look on her face. Usagi, who happened to be wandering around, noticed the two. She saw Rei, smiled, and tackled her.

“I'M SO HAPPY TO HAVE FOUND YOU!” Usagi bellowed, tears flowing like a river from her eyes.

Jitsia's confused look changed to a small smile.

“Usagi, you numbskull,” Rei laughed, standing while still holding on to Usagi. “Security isn't blockading the hall, they're just here to make sure the Admiral behaves.”

Usagi groaned. “Really?”

Rei nodded. “You'd know that if you'd have just asked.”

Usagi sighed. “Guess it was a blonde moment.” She looked to Jitsia. “You have those, don't you?”

Jitsia, not wanting to make Usagi feel bad, nodded, and patted her on the head. “Of course.”

Usagi smiled and turned back in the direction she came from. “Okay, well tell them I will be right in with the food.”

“It won't be cold, will it?” Rei asked.

“No, I have heaters keeping it warm,” she smiled. “And not fake ones either.”

“What do you mean by that?” Rei asked.

“Kerosene burners.”

Both Rei and Jitsia looked at each other in fright. Before either of them could say anything, the computer started to squawk.


Rei just groaned as a force-field went up behind her and Jitsia; a second later the entire section, including the two NEO officers, Usagi, and the dinner around the corner was covered in white, fire suppression foam.


Ranma walked back in and sat down, his blood pressure far higher than it was twenty minutes ago.

Damage Control had reported that the system was merely reacting to a perceived threat, and there was no real fire damage to the ship, so it would be a simple task of cleaning up the section, but what was most annoying was that dinner would now have to be replicated.

Happosai didn't mind, however. He seemed to be relishing in schadenfreude over all the things that seemed to be going wrong, despite everything Ranma had done to ensure the evening would go as smoothly as possible.

“When is Jitsia coming back?” Happosai asked.

“She had to go get cleaned up,” Ranma replied, now on his fifth drink.

“She could have done that here,” Happosai complained. “I could have washed her back.”

Gosnell, who had summoned help from the lounge to keep up with Ranma, Happosai, and Genma's drinking, quickly moved to replace the Captain's now empty glass as Ranma glared at Happosai.

“Don't give me that look,” Happosai laughed. “You said not to harass any of 'your' crew!”

“Until she's on-” Ranma was cut off by Genma shaking his head at him.

“Hm?” Happosai asked.

“Like everyone, she's a part of my crew until she departs my ship,” Ranma simply finished.

Happosai was not pleased with Ranma keeping secrets from him. He realized, though, that his chances of getting anything out of him were slim to nil, especially now that they had him under the yoke of Starfleet Intelligence.

He considered giving it a try, but the doors opening and Usagi, Rei, and Jitsia all returning in new uniforms, followed by Gosnell's staff pushing in the mass replicated dinner distracted him enough that his short attention span allowed him to forget what he wanted to know.

Several male holo-waiters appeared and began to pass out trays as Gosnell's staff all 'accidentally' bumped or otherwise whacked Gosnell in the head on their way out.

“You're going to have a mutiny down there,” Makoto whispered to him as he came to refill her drink.

“That's what you guys are around to prevent, right?” Gosnell asked.

“I think dealing with labor disputes is not part of a security officer's oath,” she grinned.

Gosnell growled as he moved on to the next person.

“What?” Happosai whimpered as a holo-waiter set dinner in front of him. “No females?”

“They all went on strike when they heard who'd they be serving,” Ranma groaned.

Happosai laughed. He looked to Jitsia who was thanking Gosnell for filling up her drink. He began to lean towards her, his arm outstretched. He quickly froze as all twenty of the NSO members simultaneously appeared around him, the barrels of their rifles only a couple of centimeters from his head.

“Quick reflexes,” he noted. “You can stand down; I was only going to brush a bit of the fire suppression dust out of her hair that she missed.”

Jitsia looked to the very protective group of soldiers before dusting a small couple of specks of white dust from the very front of her hair.

“You...” Genma stammered as the NEO teams slowly moved back to their positions at the back of the holodeck, “you should probably just mention it next time.”

Happosai looked to Genma, then to Ranma who was doing his best to maintain a neutral expression before sighing. He picked up his knife and fork and went to start eating but was interrupted by Ranma.

“Before we begin eating, Admiral, some of my crew have something they'd like to tell you,” Ranma smiled.

Happosai let out a long and exasperated sigh. “Really?”

Ranma nodded. “Mmhmm. They told me they'd like to express their gratitude to you.”

Genma nearly fell out of his chair. Happosai was a bit stunned as well.

“No kidding.” He looked around the table before setting down his silverware. “Well, let the adulation begin!”

Ranma nodded to Akane, who stood.

“While I know you weren't alone,” she said, looking past Happosai for a moment to Genma, then back to Happosai, “I'd like to thank you for placing me on this ship.”

Happosai smiled smugly and nodded. He got ready to speak, but Akane continued, not allowing him the chance.

“Despite the fact that you placed me in a critical position that I was not trained for and put the lives of several hundred people at risk because of your personal grudge against Ranma, I have grown and succeeded and done my part in making this the best crew and ship in Starfleet.”

Akane looked down at Ranma. “As well, I grew up and stopped lying about who I was and became who I am – Akane Saotome.”

Happosai eyed Akane as she sat down and kissed Ranma. His eyes darted towards the next speaker, Shampoo.

“Shampoo like to thank you, Admiral,” she said, a devilish smirk on her lips. “While Shampoo ready for position of XO, Admiral purposely make Shampoo vulnerable by assigning me to ship commanded by man I love, but cannot have.”

Akane looked to Shampoo as Ranma squeezed her hand, assuring her that there was no reason for malleting.

“Shampoo go through hell, but finally grow up and become strong. Thank you for throwing Shampoo into ocean to teach me how to swim.”

Happosai blinked, again tried to speak, but didn't get a chance before Ryouga started.

“Thank you, Admiral,” he said, not bothering with any kind of faux grin, “for exploiting me and my one weakness for personal gain. If you hadn't done that, I wouldn't have been around when we got sabotaged, crashed, and ended up as what I was meant to be.”

Ryouga pointed to his captain bars.

“I also wouldn't have met my soul mate,” he continued, setting his rifle down and wrapping his arms around Minako.

Happosai didn't even bother trying to speak this time as he knew someone else was going to start up.

He was right.

“Thank you, Admiral,” Rei said, stepping out in front of the NEO group. “For assigning me to the Sisko, in a position I didn't belong in, nor qualify for,” Rei smirked. “If they haven't killed themselves, the people I counseled probably thank you as well.”

Rei looked to her group. “If you hadn't tried to destroy our captain, I wouldn't have had the opportunity to be here to get this job – the best job I have ever had - and give so much to the Federation.”

Happosai nearly spun out of his seat as he had to swing around towards Usagi.

“Thank you, Admiral,” she said, a sad look on her face, “for not only trying to sabotage a wonderful man like Captain Saotome but risking killing everyone on this ship by making me the chief engineer.”

She started to smile a bit though as she continued. “While I'm still... dumb...” Makoto, who was sitting next to her, placed a hand on her shoulder, “I am a far better engineer and person than I was when I came on board.”

“Thank you, Admiral,” Gosnell smiled, “for letting us use your timeshare on Risa-”

“GOSNELL!” Ranma barked.

“We're not allowed to do real ones?” he asked.

Makoto quickly nodded to some of her security staff. Four of the officers moved over and grabbed Gosnell, who at first struggled, but realized there was no point and allowed them to drag him out of the holodeck.

Ranma turned to Happosai. “Don't let me hear you say no one appreciates you,” he smirked before picking up his silverware. “Let's eat, already!” Ranma called to the room.

Happosai sat for a moment, thinking over things. Genma turned to him.

“I'm sorry for the disrespect,” he told Happosai.

Happosai shook his head as he began to eat. “As I said before, Genma,” the old man said, between bites, “that is why Ranma will always be better than you. He's not scared to stand up to me.”

“It's not about being scared of you,” Genma growled. “It's about having respect for our elders.”

Happosai laughed before turning to Genma. “Do you really think I deserve respect?”

“Of course!”

“Why?” Happosai asked.

“You're our master! You're an admiral! You're-”

“Oh, can it,” Happosai said, turning back towards his food. “Respect isn't issued with a title. Respect comes through actions.” Happosai ate a bit more as Genma seemed to simply push his food around on the plate.

Eventually, Happosai leaned towards Genma. “I'd never tell him this, but Ranma is a Saotome that deserves respect.” Happosai thought about what he said for a couple of seconds. “No, he commands it.”

Genma looked to his master curiously. “So then why did you act the way you did earlier then?”

“Because I'm Happosai, you idiot,” he laughed. “Why does a dog lick its balls?”

Genma flubbered a bit at Happosai's analogy. “So, are you saying I don't deserve any respect?”

“You deserve as much respect as you earn,” Happosai replied.

Genma wasn't quite sure what to make of Happosai's ambiguous statement. He wasn't sure if he was going to get anything else out of him on the subject either as Makoto had now allowed Gosnell back in, on the condition that he wrestled with the holographic waiters.

A sight that Happosai was seemingly enjoying considering that one of the waiters appeared to be bashing Gosnell over the head with a folding chair.


Happosai's security escort barely fit in the corridor. Luckily the transporter room was on the same deck as the holodeck otherwise it would take them forever to get everyone from one deck to the next.

Once the NEO teams, marines, and security officers escorted Ranma, Genma, and Happosai down the corridors and to transporter room one, Happosai turned to Genma and outstretched his hand.

“It was good to see you again, Genma,” he said, rather subdued.

Genma nodded and shook Happosai's hand. He took the hint that he wasn't welcome in the transporter room as the Admiral departed, so once they finished the handshake, Genma slowly shuffled off towards his quarters.

Ranma's eyes followed Genma till Happosai tugged on his pants leg.

“You want me gone, don't you?” Happosai laughed. “Besides, there's apparently a panty convoy that needs an escort near Vulcan that I really need to supervise.”

Ranma nodded while sighing as he and the NEO teams walked into the transporter room. Happosai walked up onto the transporter pad before turning to Ranma.

“Some advice,” he smiled.

Ranma nodded.

“Your father is going through a mid-life crisis. He's finally realized that you're the alpha male of the family now. Do something for him before he does something stupid.”

Ranma sighed. “Like what?”

“Get that hot ass new NEO girl to teach him some 'lop zeball' and let him beat you,” Happosai suggested, as all the female NEO soldiers growled at him. “Genma is a martial artist at heart and simply knocking you on your ass will placate him.”

Ranma pondered this for a moment then nodded. “Thanks.”

Happosai nodded again. “One to beam-” Happosai blinked and pointed towards the door. “Is that a Borg?”

“Huh?” Ranma turned and looked. Half the NEO team did as well. Happosai smirked and threw a concealed glass of water on Ranma, then latched on to now Captain Ranma-chan.

Ranma-chan growled as Happosai had about two seconds to snuggle her breasts before being hit by several shots from the NEO rifles.

“Totally worth it,” Happosai moaned before falling to the deck.